Wedding etiquette isn’t as cut and dry as knowing which fork to use or remembering whether a light blue dress is fair game for a guest (are you the something blue?). Etiquette is constantly evolving, changing with the times and adapting to the latest in social norms. Asking for cash for a Southern wedding might have been taboo 20 years ago, but is it to be expected in 2026? Is requesting that guests dress in a color-coordinated theme absolutely unfathomable? Or are the cohesive photos worth the hassle—and the inevitable eye rolls from extended family members?
To get to the bottom of some of the burning etiquette questions surrounding current wedding trends, Jennings Whiteway, owner and lead creative director of event planning company Belles and Whistles in Richmond, shared her thoughtful—and experienced—insights.
Q: Dear friends are asking for money instead of gifts. Is this expected today? How do I avoid feeling like I’m funding their wedding and honeymoon?
A: Weddings get expensive quickly, and, more and more, I’m seeing couples themselves paying or significantly contributing to the overall budget, whereas, traditionally, the bride’s parents would fund the celebration. Many modern couples often save for a home or honeymoon and may prefer cash towards those goals versus china or appliances that
they already own, particularly if they live together.
That said, I do think there is a way to go about it that’s not outright asking for cash. We suggest setting up a cash fund on the gift registry. If you know there are those guests or family members who feel better about giving a physical gift, include items you need as an option. Include the registry information, with both the cash fund and gifts, on a details card in the invitation.
Q: My niece has instituted a “pink preferred” dress code. Do I try to talk some sense into her?
A: On-theme dress codes are trending, and we’re here for it! It’s a fun way to make an event feel personalized while bringing everyone together. If a couple chooses to go that route, I say go with the flow! However, the couple should also go with the flow, and shouldn’t expect all guests will follow suit. Use the words “preferred” or “suggested” for a theme or color. We had a “floral formal” wedding last summer, and guests had fun with it!
Q: I wasn’t given a plus one to a family wedding, and I live with my partner. Is it inappropriate to ask if I can bring them?
A: As a guest, it is rude to ask to bring a plus one if you weren’t offered the opportunity. Couples often struggle with the guest list, especially around plus ones or inviting children. While it is important to consider your guests and their individual situations, I always tell couples to draw a line and stick to it. Every guest adds to the budget, and the sky isn’t always the limit for hosts.
Q: I’ve been invited to a far-flung destination wedding that is going to cost a pretty penny. Am I still expected to give a gift? Should I give a smaller gift?
A: For a destination wedding, a gift should not necessarily be expected. Some couples may even consider a no-gifts policy, realizing how much extra time and cost go into traveling for an occasion like this. However, guests often get excited about gifting, and it’s part of the celebration. Use your best judgment. The couple will appreciate your presence with or without a present!
Q: Is it OK to have an “adults only” wedding?
A: This comes down to personal preference. If opting not to include kids, it is fine to discuss this directly with guests; however, noting “adults only” or “no kids” on the wedding invitation is not appropriate. The invitation envelope should clearly dictate who is included (or not) for the event.
If a couple opts to include some, but not all children, it can get sticky, but draw a line and stick to your policy to avoid hurt feelings and added stress around your guest list. For example, you could choose to only invite the children participating in the wedding, or you could consider an age limit.
This article originally appeared in the February 2026 issue.
